Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Sibling Rivalries

I love being a big sister. I love helping my younger siblings, spending time with them, and seeing them grow from little kids into teenagers and now young adults. Still, sibling rivalry comes up from time to time.

Sibling Rivalries from Courtney's Little Things

I mainly feel it with my brother who's only 2 years younger than me. I've been used to reaching all the milestones first - getting a driver's license, graduating high school, going to college, that sort of thing. But now we're entering into a space where your age doesn't really define when you'll reach the milestones like graduating college, getting married, landing a "real" job and it makes me feel threatened to be honest. I don't know how to handle not being first.

I also feel a bit threatened by our dreams and post university plans. I'm planning on being a high school Spanish teacher within a 2-3 hour drive from where my parents live. I want to live a quiet life like that and I know I wouldn't be happy moving hours and hours away from home or with a fast paced, super competitive job. I want to help kids grow and become the adults I know they can be.

My brother on the other hand is dreaming of animating movies for a major movie company like Pixar or Dreamworks. With that he's obviously planning on moving to a major city and creating tangible things he can show people to prove his work is good. I won't have anything more than 60% of my kids passing our last exam with a B or higher.

Basically, I'm worried about not being as impressive as him. I feel like if I'm not more impressive and not hitting those big milestones first, I won't be the big sister and my family won't love me or be proud of me anymore. I know that seems really silly and petty, but it's really how I feel.

The problem with this - aside from revealing some insecurities - is that it causes me to get a bit defensive and unable to celebrate moments with him and the rest of the family. If he shows us a video he made for a class, my mom goes crazy and is super proud of it so I feel like I can't be too excited cause I'm worried she'll be more proud of him or love him more because he can do such cool things. Or I can't be as happy for him and his friends getting these cool opportunities because I'm worried I'll just become the boring oldest child since me and all my friends are planning on having normal lives with jobs like teaching or social work. Again, I know this is super childish and petty, but I just can't help but feel that way.

Do you get competitive with your siblings? Do you worry about not being as good as your siblings?

Related Posts:  A Letter To My Mom, What I'm Looking For In A Friend, 10+ Things About Me


  1. There's only two years between me and my sister and I definitely feel it. Our parents have always compared grades etc, but I've really noticed it since she started uni and I've left.

    Steph -

    1. Me too. We were compared in high school, but I feel like it's gotten worse since we've both started college and moved out.

  2. I totally understand the feeling competitive thing! My sister is four years younger than me, so she's still in high school, but she gets really good grades in all of her AP classes, and she wants to go into a career in science. I sometimes feel like if I was the younger sister, I would have a whole lot to live up to. Especially since I didn't take any AP classes in high school, and I want to go into a career in blogging and online business, which is not always thought of as "reliable."
    Side note though, teaching is an extremely important job, and I have major respect for you and anyone else who becomes a teacher.

    1. That would be a lot to live up to. I think you will do great in blogging and online business though :) And thank you for the side note!

  3. No matter how much you love your siblings, it's almost inevitable to feel competitive with them! My older sister and I are in similar college majors, but with her being 3 years older, her classes are obviously more advanced and it's easy to feel like she always knows more. And with my younger sister coming up behind me with all the sass and creativity in the world there is more than enough of that competitive questioning. That said, I love them more than anything.
    I also have mad respect for you in following your dreams of teaching! One thing you will be able to see is your direct impact on students' growth, which I believe will be incredibly rewarding for you!

    Stay lovely,
    Corin Tschoepe|All Paths Lead to Wonderland

    1. Exactly, I love my siblings a lot, but still can't help but feel a bit of competition sometimes. Sometimes when everyone has different talents and areas of expertise, I think it's easy to feel like theirs is better and more important than your talents and expertise (even though it's NOT true).
      I love to see how students progress both personally and academically. It's really the best feeling to see them grow :)