Saturday, July 4, 2015

A Different Kind of Fourth of July

This was my last week at home until August. I had all sorts of fun things planned to do with my family. My mom, sister, and I were gong to go on a shopping trip. I was going to make homemade pizza. My family and I were going to check out the annual Fourth of July flea market, shoot off a bunch of fireworks, and have a lovely holiday.

But, my week has not gone the way we had planned it. Instead of shopping trips, I've been babysitting for my cousin while she and my aunt deal with funeral arrangements. Instead of homemade pizza, we're bringing food over to my aunt's house. Instead of a flea market, we're going to a funeral. 

Tuesday began with a call from my aunt crying in the ER, shortly followed by the news that my uncle had passed away. The rest of the week has been filled with tears and hugs and "I'm so sorry"s.

What I'm most affected by is that my cousin, who I've always been close to and is only 3 years older than me, has lost her father. She'll never get to give him another hug or hear him say "I love you" or watch her kids play with their grandpa ever again. That is absolutely heartbreaking to me.

It seems so crazy when my family and I are dealing with this situation all day, and then I check out social media and see people celebrating the holiday and excited for their 3 day weekend. It's insane to me that while some people are going through some of the toughest moments of their life, other people are laughing at BBQs and shooting off fireworks.

I don't want other people to feel bad for me or my family, but I do want other people who are also having a tough time this holiday to know that they're not alone in going through such difficult moments during such a "fun" time of year.